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After months and months of a lethargic depression-hole in which nothing at all happened to me for a good long while, I’ve suddenly found myself Incredibly Busy in a strange way. It’s very off-putting to say the least and my anxiety has been jumping on and off more recently. I guess I really feel like an adult now, lol.
As I anxiously fill out a bunch of legal forms for job onboarding i am struck by the acute feeling that I’m doing all of it Wrong and Bad and I will be sent to forever jail for doing it so Wrong and Bad. And! Even worse! I’ll be denied the job and will continue being a broke NEET. Needless to say this is likely NOT what will happen, but the mind loves to conjure up the worst possible scenarios anyway.
I’ve somehow also ended up scheduling a concert, a freelance meeting, and a day trip to see some friends all within the next two days, and then (barring me getting sent to forever jail as mentioned before) my first day of work after that. As someone who left the house maybe 6 times total last month this is a bit of a dramatic uptick. Adding the daytime coffee shop trips and various other things I’ve done, I have successfully seen the outside world more in 8 days than I have in the entire previous month, and possibly the month before that one too. So strange! I feel like I’m living a completely different life, despite almost nothing of note happening to me. Perhaps this is a good thing, a step in the right direction, but of course my mind instinctually is making me very anxious about it all. Siiiigh.
Regardless, it’s time for an afternoon nap. My mind is too frazzled to cook dinner right now, I need some snooze time.
As I anxiously fill out a bunch of legal forms for job onboarding i am struck by the acute feeling that I’m doing all of it Wrong and Bad and I will be sent to forever jail for doing it so Wrong and Bad. And! Even worse! I’ll be denied the job and will continue being a broke NEET. Needless to say this is likely NOT what will happen, but the mind loves to conjure up the worst possible scenarios anyway.
I’ve somehow also ended up scheduling a concert, a freelance meeting, and a day trip to see some friends all within the next two days, and then (barring me getting sent to forever jail as mentioned before) my first day of work after that. As someone who left the house maybe 6 times total last month this is a bit of a dramatic uptick. Adding the daytime coffee shop trips and various other things I’ve done, I have successfully seen the outside world more in 8 days than I have in the entire previous month, and possibly the month before that one too. So strange! I feel like I’m living a completely different life, despite almost nothing of note happening to me. Perhaps this is a good thing, a step in the right direction, but of course my mind instinctually is making me very anxious about it all. Siiiigh.
Regardless, it’s time for an afternoon nap. My mind is too frazzled to cook dinner right now, I need some snooze time.
