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I've written a little over 10k words in the Aperture Record! yippee!! now the problem is... I'm considering throwing a good chunk of it out.
I'm not quite there just yet, but I'm definitely considering it. I'm looking at the outlines I have for these first few chapters and the things I've written so far and I find myself wondering what exactly I'm trying to say here, or if anybody would even find this interesting. I kept telling myself I'm writing the setup right now, and things will get well and truly wild and interesting later, but... I fear I'm going in circles stalling myself by writing the setup and never actually getting to the interesting part.
I enjoy what I have so far, don't get me wrong - I just don't think the majority of portal fanfic readers will find my 6ish chapters of dry, academic-style analysis all that interesting... but I don't know. this thing certainly needs a couple drafts before I'd consider it finished, so maybe rewriting it a few times would help me in that department. overall, though, I'm not too sure what I'm wanting to convey if and when I do get to the wild and interesting parts. my greatest fear is this thing accidentally morphing into one of those looong youtube videos that promise analysis or interesting commentary on a thing and only end up recapping every ounce of the thing with no additional interpretation. I want to use portal as a game series to say something!! it's so full of both blatant and subtle themes about capitalism and American sentiments towards ephemeral ideas of 'progress' and 'advancement' at any cost! I want to be able to contribute to that and make something that resonates with people!! I'm just not sure what exactly I want to explore here. should I also focus on the themes of corporations and capitalism in america? should I focus on personhood and the systematic denial of it to marginalized communities? should I focus on a situationist interpretation that focuses on the heightened unreality of Aperture as an institution? rrrgh I just find myself incapable of picking a direction and walking in it, instead ambling in random squiggles all across the map.
I think there may be room for all of these things within the record, but really, I want the large overarching theme to be the use of capitalism in 1900s america. the other ideas are sort of branching subgenres of that lens anyway, at least I can write it that way. perhaps I just need to keep that overall theme in mind when writing, and I'll have more of a direction. I don't know. for now, I'm gonna shift focus to a different part that excites me a bit more, and hopefully that will spark some inspiration for this intro bit.
also... I should really draw some. I've been writing for weeks now because it takes a bit less energy for me and I've been exhausted at this job, but now that I've got a cool five days off I might as well actually do some of the thing I'm passionate about, lol.
I'm not quite there just yet, but I'm definitely considering it. I'm looking at the outlines I have for these first few chapters and the things I've written so far and I find myself wondering what exactly I'm trying to say here, or if anybody would even find this interesting. I kept telling myself I'm writing the setup right now, and things will get well and truly wild and interesting later, but... I fear I'm going in circles stalling myself by writing the setup and never actually getting to the interesting part.
I enjoy what I have so far, don't get me wrong - I just don't think the majority of portal fanfic readers will find my 6ish chapters of dry, academic-style analysis all that interesting... but I don't know. this thing certainly needs a couple drafts before I'd consider it finished, so maybe rewriting it a few times would help me in that department. overall, though, I'm not too sure what I'm wanting to convey if and when I do get to the wild and interesting parts. my greatest fear is this thing accidentally morphing into one of those looong youtube videos that promise analysis or interesting commentary on a thing and only end up recapping every ounce of the thing with no additional interpretation. I want to use portal as a game series to say something!! it's so full of both blatant and subtle themes about capitalism and American sentiments towards ephemeral ideas of 'progress' and 'advancement' at any cost! I want to be able to contribute to that and make something that resonates with people!! I'm just not sure what exactly I want to explore here. should I also focus on the themes of corporations and capitalism in america? should I focus on personhood and the systematic denial of it to marginalized communities? should I focus on a situationist interpretation that focuses on the heightened unreality of Aperture as an institution? rrrgh I just find myself incapable of picking a direction and walking in it, instead ambling in random squiggles all across the map.
I think there may be room for all of these things within the record, but really, I want the large overarching theme to be the use of capitalism in 1900s america. the other ideas are sort of branching subgenres of that lens anyway, at least I can write it that way. perhaps I just need to keep that overall theme in mind when writing, and I'll have more of a direction. I don't know. for now, I'm gonna shift focus to a different part that excites me a bit more, and hopefully that will spark some inspiration for this intro bit.
also... I should really draw some. I've been writing for weeks now because it takes a bit less energy for me and I've been exhausted at this job, but now that I've got a cool five days off I might as well actually do some of the thing I'm passionate about, lol.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-16 10:53 pm (UTC)From:In all seriousness, you're working on a website for this, right? Maybe you could make the medium part of the message, in some way. One event can have as many interpretations as there are people contributing to the report, for example.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-17 04:27 am (UTC)From:that's a really good idea as well... having lots of different interpretations and also playing a little game of internet telephone with various pieces of information could be a neat aspect!! the collaborative nature of the internet would both make compiling the data of the record easier and harder, in different ways... and that could lead to some fun diversions from canon and breakdowns in communication later on
much to think about!